Principal & Staff

Old Girl's Visit

I recently had the delightful task of showing Old Girl Victoria Henderson around school.  Victoria now runs two art galleries in the Elam School of Fine Arts, one of the most highly-regarded places to study fine arts in New Zealand.  Victoria was very impressed with our girls' work.  On our return to the front door we met by Mrs Russell.  Both ladies recognised each other and immediately the memories started to flow.  Victoria was delighted to see herself in

 one of the photographs along the hall.  This happens every time I show an old girl around our school - fond memories and high praise for Carncot, and the foundation and work ethic set down in their time here.

Raising Exceptional Girls - Role Models

I have been invited to hear the Hon Hekia Parata, Minister of Women’s Affairs, speak at the Coachman in October and I am reminded how important it is for our girls to have strong female role models in their lives.  Indeed, all children need good role models, whether they are their parents, teachers or other adults.  Perhaps, you could discuss the following definition and quotes with your daughter.

role model (noun): a person whose behaviour, example, or success is or can be emulated by others, especially by younger people.

"True role models are those who possess the qualities that we would like to have and those who have affected us in a way that makes us want to be better people.  To advocate for ourselves and our goals and take leadership on the issues that we believe in.”  (Herminia)

 “I think mentors should be role models, BUT a role model who hasn't forgotten where s/he came from, how s/he got to where s/he is now and always looking back to see if s/he can help those who came from the very same place.”  (Jeanette)

 “A role model DARES you and themselves to be different.  People tend to find role models that are in some way or another involved in their lives.  I think this is great, and it emphasizes one of my favourite sayings, "It takes a village to raise a child."  (Nikki)

 Take a moment to watch the Hall of Fame on the Library screen to be inspired by the wonderful role models found amongst our Old Girls.

A word or two from parenting expert, Michael Grosse:

“Lately, I’m finding parents worrying about stuff (kids’ behaviour, learning, confidence levels) that they shouldn’t really be concerned about. In many cases, maturity will solve many issues.

Also for many kids, what’s a problem today is forgotten tomorrow yet we adults tend to hang on longer to kids’ problems long after they have given up caring. I believe it’s not worth worrying when:

A child is moving from one stage to the next. Boys can give mum a hard-time at five and again in early adolescence; some girls develop an attitude at seven, and again at thirteen; boys' vocabularies shrink to three words in early teens; and fourteen year old girls will often have little time for the dads. These behaviours are indicative of different stages of development. Annoying yes, but not always worrying!

A child struggles periodically at school either socially or academically.  The ups and downs of growing up mean that kids don’t always learn on an even trajectory.  They have good years and bad years at school.  They also have good years and bad years socially.  That is, they have years where they sit next to their best friends and have a ball, and other years, finding and keeping friends can be a little tougher. Helping kids ride the lows and the highs is part of the parenting job. Sometimes we worry at the first sign of a problem.  Time and children themselves solve many problems when they get the chance.

Parents of first and second borns tend to worry over different things than parents of later borns. I suspect that a little bit of experience gives them perspective, and helps them work out what’s a real concern, and what’s typically ‘a stage they are going through’. It’s a worry being a parent, but it doesn’t always have to be!”

Raising Exceptional Girls

Confidence
Self-doubt and lack of confidence hold more kids back than any other factor.  They won’t be happy and achieve unless they feel confident in their abilities.

Real confidence-building is the most important skill you can develop as a parent.  Children with healthy self-esteem and self-confidence learn more, achieve more, have more friends and are generally happier than those with low levels of confidence.

But building a child’s confidence is complex.  It is not just a matter of becoming a praise robot heaping positive comments on kids at the first sign of them doing something well.  For some children praise is meaningless.

Confident kids take learning risks; they can separate themselves from failure or lack of success;  and they aren’t dependent on the approval of their parents.  I guess this last reason is why so many youngest kids are risk-takers as they are not as concerned as eldest kids about the approval of their parents

But knowing this is one thing.  Getting inside kids’ heads and shifting their thinking is another thing entirely.

Read more...

Parenting with Confidence

Every Generation Lacks Something

Michael Grose www.parentingideas.com.au explains that every generation has lacked something.  Today’s parents seem to lack TIME.  We are families on the run.  I loved his example: when he was a stay at home dad, he realised that it took time to teach his children to tie their shoe laces. So, of course, he bought shoes with Velcro!  However, the important motor skill of tying laces was lost in the process.  What was also lost was that all important time together.  Research says: BE WITH your children rather than DO FOR them.  It’s about developing and maintaining that connection, which will be so important in the teenage years.

Facebook

Last year, I spent some time speaking with our senior students about the real and potential dangers of Facebook, and I have found occasion to do so again this year.  There is clear advantage in the immediacy of the electronic world and social networks are an excellent way to keep in touch with family members.  However, I implore you, as parents, to ensure that you are fully aware of 1) the intricacies of social network sites, and 2) of what your daughter is writing or displaying on such sites.  The majority of our senior girls are on Facebook and they assure me that every one of them has parental permission;  they need to if they are under 13.  That is both appropriate and advisable.  I strongly recommend that you regularly monitor your daughter’s Facebook conversations, including chat rooms.  You may well be doing so, of course.

12 year old girls do not have the worldly experience to understand the lasting impact of every word written on a Facebook page or texted to a friend, and they need our help and protection.  They do not comprehend that indelible e-footprint.  They cannot foresee that a future employer has the capacity to search a prospective employee’s history and will judge them on how they have portrayed themselves, albeit in years past.  With powerful search engines, CVs are fast becoming a thing of the past.  I have written at length about this, but I feel duty bound to protect our girls.  I am also duty bound to protect our school and, if Carncot is brought into disrepute through any means, it is my job to act on behalf of our community.  I thank you in anticipation of your support of our girls’ wellbeing and our school’s reputation.  Social network sites are not available at Carncot.